Feelings...
This is in response to a post on the VEPTR site from another parent. Visit www.veptr.com to pick up the original thread:Jennie
So, there you go...writing my worries and thoughts plain as day. Madi will be nine in August and as she grows older and the REALITY of her life somedays seems to overshadow the JOYS of her life, I feel a knot that grows tighter and tighter in my stomach. Coronas and lime...bible verses and doctors words...knowledge and belief combine to guide me through my days (and on to more coronas)...but this is MY baby. I am terrified. The reality is that little Madi will always be little. Very. Her reality is that she has pain and infections and limitations that she becomes more aware of (and more aware that other children don't have them) on a daily/nightly basis. I have reached this somewhat creepy and overwhelming point where fear can sometimes overwhelm me when I am not with her. The "what if" becomes so clear in mind that the details outline themselves for me and I am full of fear and panic. I am feeling that for you, too. For all of these children who have grown with the experiment that has saved their lives and may, someday, somehow for no reason we can ever understand...take it all away. See, Jennie, I am crying now...again... I am sorry...I guess. Sorry that we don't have the right answers for those we love so dearly. The only answer we all have is that the love for these special, bright stars in our lives will never, ever go out as long as there is a sky above holding a heaven we fear waits for them too soon. Hugs beyond reason, Rhonda
posted by Rhonda Foote @ 6:40 PM
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